There's an old expression, "Don't try to teach the pig to sing. It will frustrate you and annoy the pig." So often, we try to change the people around us and all that we change in the end is the relationship.
Every time we try to change others, we are sending the message that you are not okay the way they are. Every time we tell someone that they, "Should do things this way," or "Shouldn't do it that way," we are conveying that their natural approach to the world is wrong.
Here's where the DISC styles come into play. When we understand another person's DISC style, we understand why they are doing what they doing. We get a glimpse into the motivation behind the behavior. This simple awareness of intention can help to remove the sting of behaviors that previously pushed our buttons. For example, Interactive I style people realize that Conscientious C's are not questioning the details of an idea because they don't believe in it, they simply want to make sure that it is well thought out and will work. Likewise, when S's understand that D's are simply being direct when they don't sugarcoat their feedback and they don't mean to be offensive in any way, they stop judging the D for being insensitive.
We can't change others, but we can change our understanding of their intentions by understanding their style. And when sometimes, simply by knowing a person's DISC style, it helps us to understand why that individual is doing what they're doing. This simple awareness can be crucial in driving our acceptance of not only their behaviors, but of them as an individual.
So the next time you try to teach a pig to sing, accept that the pig is not a parrot and let them be who they are.
Merrick Rosenberg, MBA, President & Chief Learning Officer, Team Builders Plus
Merrick cofounded Team Builders Plus, in Marlton, NJ in 1991. He is co-author of Taking Flight!: Master the Four Behavioral Styles and Transform Your Career, Your Relationships...Your Life. Merrick is an award-winning entrepreneur, speaker, author, executive coach, and management consultant. He specializes in the DISC behavioral styles, team building, and leadership development. You can follow Merrick on Twitter @MerrickR, learn more about Team Builders Plus at www.TeamBuildersPlus.com, and discover the DISC system at www.TakingFlightwithDISC.com.
Mon, April 23, 2012
by Merrick Rosenberg filed under